Oh sweet blog, how I missed you.
So, I can't say the word no.
Last year I was approached by my principal. She asked if I'd be the new advisory facilitator. That's a fancy way of saying the person in charge of making sure the campus implements Character Counts and other relationship building concepts. Simple enough. My answer, yes. Earlier during the 2008/2009 school year a teacher friend and I asked about taking over the yearbook. We thought it could use a little jazzing up. We both thought it'd be easy enough, but didn't realize it also encompassed running student council. My answer to running StuCo with Martinez? Yes.
But it doesn't end there.
Two weeks into the 2009/2010 school year an email was sent around asking if any intermediate teacher would be willing to be a homebound teacher for a 5th grade student. This 5th grade student is sick. At first my heart dropped as I thought that it was one of the 4th graders I'd just taught the previous year. I emailed the vice principal offering to take on the teaching. Honestly, I figured that someone else would've picked up the job already. I was surprised with my VP emailed me back and offered me the position. Go figure, I said yes.
I'm not done yet.
Late in the summer another email circulated around campus about student teachers. I had taken on a student observer (still don't feel experienced enough for an actual student teacher) and it was a terrible experience. I'd never seen someone so unprofessional in their attendance. I honestly never knew if this girl was going to show up and it made planning ridiculously difficult. I was proud of myself, I responded to the student teacher email with a no. Well, a no with a post script that said something along the lines of 'unless you really, really need me.' Thankfully the VP listened and didn't call me into the meeting for student teachers/observers. Nah, she just called and left me a voicemail asking very nicely if I'd reconsider since several people had turned her down. I could've just ignored the bright red voicemail light. But no, I called her back and said... Yes.
I'm busy. Each night there's something to do. Something to plan, someone to call, someone to see. I have a planner people. A planner that I actually use. So you'd think this would give me some great sense of fulfillment, purpose, success. Meh, not today.
This afternoon I left school around five. I just didn't want to be staring at the computer screen of grades anymore. When I left I was bombarded by life. I had left my phone in my nameless car. (Sidenote, car is new! More about her in later posts.) When I got to my car my phone was going crazy. Text messages and voicemails galore. Not normal.
First one, a text message from an incredibly random source. The text message was a terribly sad one, a friend from church had passed away. The man had gone through some tough physical trials, but he was still pretty young. Couple this news with the death of my dad's cousin-in-law about two weeks ago and the fleeting nature of life was brought right to the forefront of my mind. Second one, a voicemail from my homebound student's father. My student was put in the hospital today. The father was so calm and collected. His voice was stable, the voice of a father who'd been to hell and back before. Hospital trips are the norm in this family. He calmly said they probably wouldn't be able to have me teach tomorrow, but he'd call in the morning to let me know.
You don't know what your life is going to be like tomorrow. "You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away" (James 4:14) so why waste my time here. But as I stuff my life full of experiences I have to make sure my focus and priorities are straight. Make sure my mind is "set on things above, not on earthly things" (Colossians 3:2, one of my favorite chapters in the Bible) and that my purpose is obvious to others.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned in my short 26 years here is that you never know when someone is going to up and leave you. I've made it a point to be completely honest, saying my feelings about friendships and family members as openly as possible. (Girlie feelings... Now that's a whole different story.) I'm not guaranteed a tomorrow, I want to love everyone and everything about today as much as possible. I'm going to be busy!
Maybe my inability to say no isn't such a bad thing afterall!
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